Solara's Personal Update

September 8, 2002: Emerging

My goodness, it's been a very long time since my last Update... It might be a bit superfluous to say that I've been quite busy.
Here are some of the highlights of what I've been doing:

In late June, Omashar and Elara both arrived in Los Angeles. It was quite something to pack up a moving truck with my books, products and remaining cat and see them drive away. Yes, it was something I've been wanting for a very long time, but there is always the poignancy you feel in that actual moment of release when you realize that it's actually happening.

Two days after Elara departed, I left for two weeks in Hawaii, leaving Omashar to caretake my place. My goal was to find a place to live and to make the arrangements for 5th Gate. I had checked the internet for several weeks before departing, looking for houses to rent with swimming pools. (I've been desperately yearning to swim every day, especially since walking has been difficult with my foot problems.) No problem, there were at least 10 houses to rent with pools. The night before I left LA, I checked again; now there were only 6 houses available. No problem.

By the time I arrived in Kona and bought a newspaper, there were only 2 houses with pools. No problem. Looked at first house on the following morning. Not right for me. Should I panic? Not yet. Might as well look at the second house.... Nice surprise! Second house's rent had just been sizeably reduced the day I arrived. Rented second house with chlorine free solar pool, overlooking the ocean. Not bad for my first full day in Hawaii.

Next on the agenda was finding the right place for 5th Gate and making arrangements with hotels. This proved more difficult since we had such a short timetable to work with and most of the hotels and retreat centers were already booked. The Big Island of Hawai'i felt right. Since it has the most active volcano on the planet and is constantly being renewed, it felt like the perfect place to activate the Gate of Personal Freedom. I was still open to checking out the other islands so I made a quick trip to Kauai to visit my friend Kala Sara. We took a boat up the Na Pali Coast to see if 5th Gate wanted to be there. It didn't. Then, I visited my son Nion in Maui to feel it out. The Big Island kept calling.

At this point, I was feeling complete in Hawaii for the moment and wanted to return home to begin packing. But Hawaii wasn't finished with me. Couldn't change my ticket and even got delayed in Honolulu for an extra night when my airplane developed mechanical problems and was cancelled.

I finally returned to Los Angeles and plunged into packing. I now had three weeks to get everything packed, find a shipper, give away my beloved orchids and get everything cleared up in Los Angeles. Then, there was the situation with my old car which I have had for thirteen years. I told the car that if it didn't have any mechanical problems for the next few weeks that I would take it to Hawaii. That's when the whole cooling system which I had replaced last year, went out, the battery went dead and needed replacement, and the brakes were replacement. I did all that and then made plans to give my car to my son Aman. Now, I needed to find a new car fast.

I was so grateful for Omashar's help during this time. I simply couldn't have done it without him. Talk about Divine Intervention. He was magnificent. We sorted through everything and packed like crazy. On a Friday, the shipper came and picked up the first load for the container. That night, I bought a new car. On Monday, the car went to the shippers with the final load of stuff. (Buddhas and all.) On Tuesday, we cleaned the house and moved out to camp on Nova's apartment floor. On Friday, I flew to Hawaii.

I arrived at my new home late at night. Everything was dark and I soon discovered that there were no lights in the living room and bedrooms. Luckily, I had brought a small desk light in my suitcase. Now, I had only been in this house once before arriving here, so it was somewhat of a shock when I woke up that first morning and discovered where I was. There was the shimmering pool; there was the sparkling ocean; everywhere around me was Hawai'i.

Hawai'i is not exactly what you see in the postcards or encounter when you visit here. Living here is a totally different experience. There are some very powerful energies to integrate with. My house is near the place where the famous explorer Captain Cook died and I could feel those energies very strongly. Immediately, I had to read a book about the final days leading up to his murder and work on releasing some of that emotional residue. Then, there are the energies of the nature here which is very, very strong and alive. The rocks and plants are powerful and must be given the proper respect. My first visitors were a flock of wild turkeys.

There are also the energies of the ancient Hawaiians who are definitely alive and well. Spirit beings abound on these islands. One morning I woke up to discover my still locked front door standing wide open and knew that I had been visited by spirits during the night. Obviously, these beings must be acknowledged and respected. Then, there are the modern Hawaiians with their strong spirits of aloha and warriorship. And the various overlays of Hawaiian residents and the ever changing hoards of tourists.

I've been swimming every day and have lost fifteen pounds so far. All this extra weight was gained during the past year when I could not walk or exercise. I feel like my physical body is coming alive once again and this feels great.

After a week and a half of camping in my empty house, my container arrived. Here was my new car which I had barely seen and boxes and boxes of stuff, plus my Buddhas. Fortunately, Kima Brown came over from Hilo and Kala Sara came from Kauai, and in two days, we sorted through 80% of the stuff and brought order out of the confusion. Nion arrived from Maui two days later and helped some more. I even bought flower leis for all my Buddhas to welcome them to the island. That was two weeks ago. I still have numerous boxes here and there to sort out which I don't feel like unpacking, but it's starting to feel like home.

Life has been a total blur of activity since I wrote my last Update. I have so much work to catch up with. I've decided to keep the Surf Reports free for the time being, but still very much welcome sponsors.

I feel that I have been tightly wrapped in a cocoon for the past several years and that now the wrappings are finally starting to come off. During this process of integration, I am learning to live in a very new way and to do everything differently.

I feel that one of the great lessons of the problems with my feet has to do with learning to go through my life in a new way. And I am starting to do this. My feet are getting better, although they occasionally flare up when I do too much or get stressed out. Then, I slow down and give myself free time.

Now, there's 5th Gate coming up very soon. This feels very rushed to me, but also very appropriate. Being the Gate of Personal Freedom and Emergence, it is just what is needed at this time. What is really needed are people to participate in the Master Cylinder. I really hope that some of you feel the powerful energy of this Gate and the importance of coming to help make this activation possible. Without a strong Master Cylinder, the 5th Gate will not be activated.

I am becoming a new person. I feel this strongly. Being in the early stages of this process, I am taking things slowly and carefully, not rushing into anything. I can't say that I'm totally happy since I still feel so unsettled, but I'm putting attention on the parts of my being which have been long neglected. So far, my new being feels good. My new life feels good.

Several years ago, I finally started asking myself what I wanted in life. All I could feel was a rather abstract yearning for water and flowers.Well, now that I'm in the land of water and flowers, let's see what comes next....

Splashing Waves of Aloha,