Solara's Personal Update: January 31, 2003: As An Island

Note: This is a Personal Update. It reflects what I was experiencing on a personal level at the time it was written. For a vaster overview of the current energies, please see the rest of this website, particularly the Surf Reports.

I've been working on this Update for weeks. I just haven't been able to adequately express how I feel. Here is my latest attempt:


The Activation of the 5th Gate of the 11:11 has brought profound changes. I feel that I am in the process of moving to a whole new level of beingness. Since emerging from my last sinkhole in early December, I have been full of energy and extremely, almost impossibly, busy. At least this burst of activity has managed to get a lot accomplished.

My priorities are dramatically shifting and many things are dropping away. I'm in a funny place where I'm constantly aware of the interweaving of our One Being and yet, I'm getting more of a sense of myself as an island. I feel that my island is drifting into a vaster ocean. Actually, it's more like being pulled by immense magnetic currents into an increasingly deeper place.

I'm also noticing a huge expansion of my love. I'm feeling more and more love all the time. And I'm constantly expressing my love-- to those whom I encounter, to my Buddhas, to the air, ocean, plants, my car, my body-- anything and everything. This makes me well up with gratitude. And makes my personal island a happy place.

I feel whole within myself, perhaps too self contained at the present moment. Deeply quiet while terribly busy. I realize that few people have any idea of just how busy I am, how many things that I'm dealing with at any given moment, of the myriad levels and realms that I'm consciously inhabiting and working in. This is simply because the scope of what I've taken on is off the map of normal experiences, making it rather impossible to comprehend.

Many still think that I have some kind of organization behind me and are shocked when I personally answer my phone or answer their email. And they get frustrated at my lack of response as well... I may be vast, but I have only one physical body.

It's not just a matter of not having time to do everything. Maybe I could do all the physical stuff that's in front of me if I did it 24 hours a day, but I cannot. I can only do so much each day, then I have to stop and let my tasks and obligations slide away. Increasingly, I require more free time and space just to be with the energy, just to hold the Beam of Oneness.

This is one of the underlying reasons for asking for your support through subscribing to my Surf Reports. I really need to be set free from financial concerns. During these turbulent times, I have to immerse myself in the play of energies and continually weave the cloth of Oneness. I am being strongly called to spend more time in being than in doing.

Sometimes I feel that I'm in that game where you stand in a circle with people behind you and just let go and fall backwards, hoping that they will catch you and you won't crash onto the ground. I'm letting go and I'm falling and I hope that our One Being is here, strong enough to support me.

I'm extremely grateful that some of you have subscribed to the Surf Reports and I hope that the support will continue to grow. The response has been very interesting and a very indicative barometer of the state of our One Being. I'm still getting a few judgmental, sometimes abusive, criticisms. People determining the price by measuring out the number of pieces of paper a Surf Report is printed out on and missing the real energy dynamic of Mutual Support behind this. Others, in full blown victim mode, lamenting that they can't read them anymore, forgetting to ask for a comp subscription which have been given out fairly frequently.

Some people have tried to fake their way to a password, telling me that they've subscribed when they haven't... Others have perceived that I have an abundance problem, and perhaps I do, acquired from my Montana debacle. If so, I'm working hard to move out of its sphere. But the real lesson of this is that I am attempting to shift a very crucial energy dynamic to a new level. This is something which will strengthen and support our entire One Being.

As I said, it's interesting.... And I know that when something stirs up this much reaction that it is bringing much testing and growth. The funny thing is that I anguished over this decision for a year or so and then once I decided to do it, I feel absolutely liberated. It was a brilliant action. And one that is challenging the viability of our One Being, and as I've said innumerable times, "The key to our future lies in the quickening of our One Being."

Another interesting thing is that we are getting way more subscribers for the Updates than for the Basic Surf Reports. Thank you for that! Anyway, if you haven't subscribed yet, please consider doing so. It would be most helpful to me at this time and we still have a way to go to reach our goal.

This has definitely been a time for looking at our real priorities and recalibrating them to be more in alignment with who we are and what we hold to be true. It's time for us to start supporting the things we value.

I've also been looking at those who are supported by others, well supported, including those who channel or take on the role of a guru. Why are these folks supported and others not? Why do we so easily avoid taking responsibility for our own actions and decisions? We also give much support to rap musicians, film stars, companies, religions. We don't even question where we put much of our time and attention and money. Are we nourishing the highest and truest? Are we nourishing the things that really nourish us? Most of the time, probably not. Interesting, huh.

This has caused me to examine my priorities and what I support with my energy. And in the process, I am letting go of much and learning to honor and support those who really deserve to be honored and supported. I'm really trying to become more aware of this and not so involved in my own challenges.

Hawai'i continues to teach me much. It's a bottomless pit of stuff to learn. A multidimensional bottomless, infinite pit of learning. Just driving around this island shows me myriad examples of our One Being in Action. Especially after a year in Los Angeles. Actually, every place has its own unique driving consciousness. New Mexico was slow and half asleep and rather proud of it. When a red light changed, you could watch each car independently realize the light had changed and slowly proceed; then you'd wait a few seconds until the next car realized the light was green; a few more seconds, then the next car would go. Not very aligned in the One Being.

In Los Angeles, the drivers are very alert and somewhat aggressive. When the light turns green, everyone is ready and goes. The only thing is that everyone is really focused on doing their own thing. They are going where they are going and they're definitely not going to pay any attention to you. In fact, you better stay out of their way.

Here in Hawaii is a totally different driving pattern. People generally go not too fast and not too slow. Anyway, there aren't many places to go really fast on an island. But what is noteworthy is the consideration most people show to others, pausing a whole line of traffic to let someone enter the main road from a sidestreet. Saluting each other with a wave. It's an honoring which makes me happy to see. It also constantly reminds me to be more aware of the needs of others. I feel bad when I zoom past someone trying to make a turn and forget to slow down and let them in.

It's this kind of awareness of mutual support and honoring of each other which we so need to strengthen. We need to incorporate it into all aspects of our lives. We need to focus on our interwovenness into Oneness rather than our sense of separation.


Anyway, everything was going pretty smoothly for me and I was feeling comfortably cocooned in my personal island on this Big Island of Hawai'i until the afternoon of January 12th when I innocently got up from my desk, slipped on a pile of papers on the floor, went shooting through the air horizontally, crashed my head into the sharp corner of a metal bookcase and landed on the floor. Gosh, if I was only a few more inches to the right, I would have probably just shot into the living room and all would have been fine.

It was a big jolt to my head, hopefully it knocked some sense into me, and I haven't really been the same since. A few days later, after exhibiting several symptoms of a concussion, I even went to the hospital and had an X-ray of my head.

Since then, I've had to take things very quietly. I'm definitely been in an altered state of consciousness. Now that the initial sense of brutality is gone, I'm beginning to appreciate the loud ringing in my ears and the sense of somewhat blissful detachment. It's very difficult to concentrate or focus on my work. It even takes me much longer to type as I make constant mistakes.

I haven't been able to do much except be quiet, although I did get caught up in the labyrinths of internet auctions for awhile, bidding ferociously on a Chinese pottery winged horse ridgepole tile, a small Mongolian Buddha residing in an antique shop in Montana of all places, a Tibetan rug with prancing lions and other strange items most of which I didn't win.... (Did get the lion rug for $29.00 though.) But throughout this deeply felt, intense internet journey I felt myself merging with the divine beings in the sculptures, with their makers, with their cultures. I felt like I traveled the world many times over, moving with fluid ease through the myriad intersections of space and time. I also read a great book called "A Trip to the Stars".

I remain unpinned from time and space. My sleep patterns are totally random-- falling asleep in the middle of the day, waking up in the middle of the night for hours. Most food is totally unappealing except for a certain salad which I make daily. I get hot when it's cold and cold when it's hot. Other than trips to the post office and market, I haven't wanted to go to town or have any interaction with people. In fact, I just want to be very quiet. Talk about moving to another level.....

More Rearranging Priorities:

Over the past few months, I've been feeling out the currents and searching for what I really want. This leads me to moving to the island of Kauai as soon as possible and somehow buying a house there. I really need to get settled. I haven't been fully unpacked for four years and I need to get grounded in a more permanent living situation so I can concentrate on creatively expressing who I am and what I know. I also have this vision of creating a Beacon of Oneness by finely calibrating the house and land to truly resonate with the harmonics of the Greater Reality. Not just anchoring Oneness, but sending out a powerful harmonic resonance to call forth and strengthen our One Being all over the world. That's another reason why I have to buy something and not rent it.

I've visited Kauai several times in the last few months, but haven't yet found the right house with the requisite energies. And now because of my head, I don't want to fly for awhile until it fully recovers.

My avoidance of flying is also affecting my planned trip to Ireland, Wales & England to find the location for the 6th Gate Activation. I was planning to be there by now, but am waiting until I get well enough to fly. Which I guess makes it fortunate that I canceled my appearance at the Esoteric Conference in Zürich due to an issue of Personal Integrity.

Good old Personal Integrity remains a paramount issue of this time. It's just something which can't be avoided or shoved under the rug. It's essential to our well being and it's essential to our future endeavors. Another issue which keeps coming up for me is people not doing what they say they will do. This is frustrating and just not acceptable anymore.

Good News is that the 5th Gate debt is now down to around $6500. It makes me happy to see people sharing the responsibility with me. This is really perfect and shows that our One Being is growing stronger.

Anyway, I'm actually very excited about the 6th Gate Activation in July. I know that it will be very powerful and very needed in the world at this time. I feel that we will have a good turnout and it will be great to meet and reconnect with many of you. It will all happen within its own perfection... As with everything.

And just when my private island was getting so comfortable, the telephone rang and now I'll be on the huge Coast to Coast AM radio show on February 11th. And who knows what that will bring....

Gentle Waves of Aloha,