Note: This is a Personal
Update. It reflects what I was experiencing on a personal level at the
time it was written. For a vaster overview of the current energies,
please see the rest of this website, particularly the Surf
I've been working on this Update
for weeks. I just haven't been able to adequately express how I feel.
Here is my latest attempt:
DECEMBER 8 -JANUARY 12:
The Activation of the 5th Gate
of the 11:11 has brought profound changes. I feel that I am in the process
of moving to a whole new level of beingness. Since emerging from my
last sinkhole in early December, I have been full of energy and extremely,
almost impossibly, busy. At least this burst of activity has
managed to get a lot accomplished.
My priorities are dramatically
shifting and many things are dropping away. I'm in a funny place where
I'm constantly aware of the interweaving of our One Being and yet, I'm
getting more of a sense of myself as an island. I feel that my island
is drifting into a vaster ocean. Actually, it's more like being pulled
by immense magnetic currents into an increasingly deeper place.
I'm also noticing a huge expansion
of my love. I'm feeling more and more love all the time. And I'm constantly
expressing my love-- to those whom I encounter, to my Buddhas, to the
air, ocean, plants, my car, my body-- anything and everything. This
makes me well up with gratitude. And makes my personal island a happy
I feel whole within myself,
perhaps too self contained at the present moment. Deeply quiet while
terribly busy. I realize that few people have any idea of just how busy
I am, how many things that I'm dealing with at any given moment, of
the myriad levels and realms that I'm consciously inhabiting and working
in. This is simply because the scope of what I've taken on is off the
map of normal experiences, making it rather impossible to comprehend.
Many still think that I have
some kind of organization behind me and are shocked when I personally
answer my phone or answer their email. And they get frustrated at my
lack of response as well... I may be vast, but I have only one physical
It's not just a matter of not
having time to do everything. Maybe I could do all the physical stuff
that's in front of me if I did it 24 hours a day, but I cannot. I can
only do so much each day, then I have to stop and let my tasks and obligations
slide away. Increasingly, I require more free time and space just to
be with the energy, just to hold the Beam of Oneness.
This is one of the underlying
reasons for asking for your support through subscribing to my Surf Reports.
I really need to be set free from financial concerns. During these turbulent
times, I have to immerse myself in the play of energies and continually
weave the cloth of Oneness. I am being strongly called to spend more
time in being than in doing.
Sometimes I feel that I'm in
that game where you stand in a circle with people behind you and just
let go and fall backwards, hoping that they will catch you and you won't
crash onto the ground. I'm letting go and I'm falling and I hope that
our One Being is here, strong enough to support me.
I'm extremely grateful that
some of you have subscribed to the Surf Reports and I hope that the
support will continue to grow. The response has been very interesting
and a very indicative barometer of the state of our One Being. I'm still
getting a few judgmental, sometimes abusive, criticisms. People determining
the price by measuring out the number of pieces of paper a Surf Report
is printed out on and missing the real energy dynamic of Mutual Support
behind this. Others, in full blown victim mode, lamenting that they
can't read them anymore, forgetting to ask for a comp subscription which
have been given out fairly frequently.
Some people have tried to fake
their way to a password, telling me that they've subscribed when they
haven't... Others have perceived that I have an abundance problem, and
perhaps I do, acquired from my Montana debacle. If so, I'm working hard
to move out of its sphere. But the real lesson of this is that I am
attempting to shift a very crucial energy dynamic to a new level. This
is something which will strengthen and support our entire One Being.
As I said, it's interesting....
And I know that when something stirs up this much reaction that it is
bringing much testing and growth. The funny thing is that I anguished
over this decision for a year or so and then once I decided to do it,
I feel absolutely liberated. It was a brilliant action. And one that
is challenging the viability of our One Being, and as I've said innumerable
times, "The key to our future lies in the quickening of our One
Another interesting thing is
that we are getting way more subscribers for the Updates than for the
Basic Surf Reports. Thank you for that! Anyway, if you haven't subscribed
yet, please consider doing so. It would be most helpful to me at this
time and we still have a way to go to reach our goal.
This has definitely been a
time for looking at our real priorities and recalibrating them to be
more in alignment with who we are and what we hold to be true. It's
time for us to start supporting the things we value.
I've also been looking at those
who are supported by others, well supported, including those
who channel or take on the role of a guru. Why are these folks supported
and others not? Why do we so easily avoid taking responsibility for
our own actions and decisions? We also give much support to rap musicians,
film stars, companies, religions. We don't even question where we put
much of our time and attention and money. Are we nourishing the highest
and truest? Are we nourishing the things that really nourish us? Most
of the time, probably not. Interesting, huh.
This has caused me to examine
my priorities and what I support with my energy. And in the process,
I am letting go of much and learning to honor and support those who
really deserve to be honored and supported. I'm really trying to become
more aware of this and not so involved in my own challenges.
Hawai'i continues to teach
me much. It's a bottomless pit of stuff to learn. A multidimensional
bottomless, infinite pit of learning. Just driving around this island
shows me myriad examples of our One Being in Action. Especially after
a year in Los Angeles. Actually, every place has its own unique driving
consciousness. New Mexico was slow and half asleep and rather proud
of it. When a red light changed, you could watch each car independently
realize the light had changed and slowly proceed; then you'd wait a
few seconds until the next car realized the light was green; a few more
seconds, then the next car would go. Not very aligned in the One Being.
In Los Angeles, the drivers
are very alert and somewhat aggressive. When the light turns green,
everyone is ready and goes. The only thing is that everyone is really
focused on doing their own thing. They are going where they are going
and they're definitely not going to pay any attention to you. In fact,
you better stay out of their way.
Here in Hawaii is a totally
different driving pattern. People generally go not too fast and not
too slow. Anyway, there aren't many places to go really fast on an island.
But what is noteworthy is the consideration most people show to others,
pausing a whole line of traffic to let someone enter the main road from
a sidestreet. Saluting each other with a wave. It's an honoring which
makes me happy to see. It also constantly reminds me to be more aware
of the needs of others. I feel bad when I zoom past someone trying to
make a turn and forget to slow down and let them in.
It's this kind of awareness
of mutual support and honoring of each other which we so need to strengthen.
We need to incorporate it into all aspects of our lives. We need to
focus on our interwovenness into Oneness rather than our sense of separation.
JANUARY 12 - JANUARY 30:
Anyway, everything was going
pretty smoothly for me and I was feeling comfortably cocooned in my
personal island on this Big Island of Hawai'i until the afternoon of
January 12th when I innocently got up from my desk, slipped on a pile
of papers on the floor, went shooting through the air horizontally,
crashed my head into the sharp corner of a metal bookcase and landed
on the floor. Gosh, if I was only a few more inches to the right, I
would have probably just shot into the living room and all would have
It was a big jolt to my head,
hopefully it knocked some sense into me, and I haven't really
been the same since. A few days later, after exhibiting several symptoms
of a concussion, I even went to the hospital and had an X-ray of my
Since then, I've had to take
things very quietly. I'm definitely been in an altered state of consciousness.
Now that the initial sense of brutality is gone, I'm beginning to appreciate
the loud ringing in my ears and the sense of somewhat blissful detachment.
It's very difficult to concentrate or focus on my work. It even takes
me much longer to type as I make constant mistakes.
I haven't been able to do much
except be quiet, although I did get caught up in the labyrinths of internet
auctions for awhile, bidding ferociously on a Chinese pottery winged
horse ridgepole tile, a small Mongolian Buddha residing in an antique
shop in Montana of all places, a Tibetan rug with prancing lions and
other strange items most of which I didn't win.... (Did get the lion
rug for $29.00 though.) But throughout this deeply felt, intense
internet journey I felt myself merging with the divine beings in the
sculptures, with their makers, with their cultures. I felt like I traveled
the world many times over, moving with fluid ease through the myriad
intersections of space and time. I also read a great book called "A
Trip to the Stars".
I remain unpinned from time
and space. My sleep patterns are totally random-- falling asleep in
the middle of the day, waking up in the middle of the night for hours.
Most food is totally unappealing except for a certain salad which I
make daily. I get hot when it's cold and cold when it's hot. Other than
trips to the post office and market, I haven't wanted to go to town
or have any interaction with people. In fact, I just want to be very
quiet. Talk about moving to another level.....
More Rearranging Priorities:
Over the past few months, I've
been feeling out the currents and searching for what I really want.
This leads me to moving to the island of Kauai as soon as possible and
somehow buying a house there. I really need to get settled. I haven't
been fully unpacked for four years and I need to get grounded in a more
permanent living situation so I can concentrate on creatively expressing
who I am and what I know. I also have this vision of creating a Beacon
of Oneness by finely calibrating the house and land to truly resonate
with the harmonics of the Greater Reality. Not just anchoring Oneness,
but sending out a powerful harmonic resonance to call forth and strengthen
our One Being all over the world. That's another reason why I have to
buy something and not rent it.
I've visited Kauai several
times in the last few months, but haven't yet found the right house
with the requisite energies. And now because of my head, I don't want
to fly for awhile until it fully recovers.
My avoidance of flying is also
affecting my planned trip to Ireland, Wales & England to find the
location for the 6th Gate Activation. I was planning to be there by
now, but am waiting until I get well enough to fly. Which I guess makes
it fortunate that I canceled my appearance at the Esoteric Conference
in Zürich due to an issue of Personal Integrity.
Good old Personal Integrity
remains a paramount issue of this time. It's just something which can't
be avoided or shoved under the rug. It's essential to our well being
and it's essential to our future endeavors. Another issue which keeps
coming up for me is people not doing what they say they will do. This
is frustrating and just not acceptable anymore.
Good News is that the 5th Gate
debt is now down to around $6500. It makes me happy to see people sharing
the responsibility with me. This is really perfect and shows that our
One Being is growing stronger.
Anyway, I'm actually very excited
about the 6th Gate Activation in July. I know that it will be very powerful
and very needed in the world at this time. I feel that we will have
a good turnout and it will be great to meet and reconnect with many
of you. It will all happen within its own perfection... As with everything.
And just when my private island
was getting so comfortable, the telephone rang and now I'll be on the
huge Coast to Coast AM radio show on February 11th. And who knows what
that will bring....
Gentle Waves of Aloha,